Harry Potter and the Chamber of Ineptitude

I recently watched "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" and it raised a lot of questions and other interesting points for me. For the sake of memory and shared wealth, I wanted to write a blog post about it. 

Before I get started, I just want to make it clear that I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. I've read all the books multiple times and seen all the movies multiple times. However, it's been a long time since I've done either. In fact, I think I only read "Chamber of Secrets" twice because it is easily my least favorite Potter book. So while some of my questions below may have been answered in the book, I simply don't remember. 

• Instead of running downstairs to try to catch the cake that Dobby was levitating (and Harry really made a pathetic attempt at catching it) why not stay upstairs where it's less likely the Dursely's will find him guilty?
• For that matter, why doesn't Harry just chuck Dobby out the window when he starts making too much noise?
• Shouldn't that fall out the window have killed Uncle Vernon?
• Wow, it's really convenient that the day Harry arrived at the Burrow was the same day the Hogwarts letters were delivered.
• Yeah Hermione, everyone was clearly worried about what happened to Harry after he screwed up the Floo Powder. So worried, in fact, they were standing in line for an autograph session.
• Wasn't it kind of obvious that Lucius Malfoy slipped an extra book into Ginny's cauldron? Is Harry and all of the Weasley's blind?
• This one's always bugged me...Ron's lived in the wizarding world all of his life so he should know about apparating and disapparating. So why doesn't he just wait for his parents to apparate him and Harry to Hogsmeade and they can walk to Hogwarts from there?
• I'm surprised they let Walder Frey work at Hogwarts after the whole Red Wedding thing.
• Isn't threatening to kill a student against one of the Hogwarts rules? I think Filch was in violation of that, there.
• Also, can't Dumbledore just stop the whole Chamber of Secrets thing? I mean, come on he's Dumbledore!
• How is Ron taking all of his classes with a broken wand? Isn't he going to fail at everything?
• Is Hermione the only one who knows how to actually do magic at Hogwarts? I mean, with all the teachers at that Quidditch game where the Bludger is going nuts on Harry, she's the one who destroys it. Come on!
• There's a reason Dobby appears a lot less in the movies than he does in the books...just saying. 
• Okay, as soon as the first student gets petrified isn't that a case where you automatically send the students home?
• Why is Harry so upset that all of the other kids think he's the heir of Slytherin? If I was him, I would totally be using that to my advantage..."Give me your chocolate frogs and Bertie Bots Every Flavor Beans or I'll petrify you!"
• Seriously, at some point in the movie it gets a little ridiculous that no one is getting killed by the giant snake. It's a giant snake!
• I think Moaning Myrtle is kind of hot...
• The Dueling Club seems rather disorganized. Isn't there an activities director that has to approve all of these clubs? 
• Alright, if you're not going to send these kids home after Hermione gets petrified can the ADULT WIZARD TEACHERS PLEASE DO SOMETHING! Seriously, you're wizards!!! Especially you Dumbledore!
• It would have been pretty funny if Hagrid shot Harry with his crossbow.
• Good call on getting rid of Dumbledore! He wasn't doing anything helpful.
• Why wouldn't Harry and Ron tell Professor McGonagall what they learned instead of Gilderoy Lockhart? Isn't it obvious that she would have been more helpful?
• It was pretty easy for Harry to kill that snake, huh?
• When I was a kid, I used to think Lockhart losing his memory was the funniest thing ever.
• Dobby is a free....nevermind, I don't care.
• Why is everyone clapping at the end of the movie? Seriously? Is it just because Hagrid's back? Isn't Hagrid terrible at his job? And didn't Hagrid send Harry and Ron into the forest to almost get eaten by spiders?
• Why was the worst Harry Potter book made into the longest movie? It could have easily been 30 minutes shorter. 
• But seriously, I'd be sending my kid to Durmstrang at this point.